Nevertheless Kdrama Review | What we can learn from Nevertheless | Nabi Should have stayed single

Nevertheless Review | Nabi Should Have Stayed Single

 INTRODUCTION

I am a huge fan of Nevertheless Kdrama. It is an extremely realistic representation of modern-day relationships and depicts many taboo topics that you do not see on traditional Korean screens. Topics such as Friends with Benefits, commitment issues and LGBT couples are very modern-day topics that you rarely see addressed in the Asian entertainment scene. In fact, Nevertheless is the first drama I have ever watched with an LGBT couple and I am so happy that Nevertheless took the opportunity to lessen the stigma surrounding that topic. I believe Nevertheless will be a huge turning point for other producers to document such taboo topics.

However, I have to admit I am not a huge fan of the ending and I will explain why in this blog.

Was Jae-Eon the only one to blame for the toxic relationship?

Jae-Eon and Nabi's relationship is the classic example of the modern-day couple - two people with commitment issues, trying to make things work. However, whilst Jae-Eon is well shamed to be toxic and manipulative, I feel that there is a lack of attention drawn towards the flaws in Nabi's character. Nabi was someone who dated other men to make Jae-Eon jealous. She even took Do-Hyeok's attention towards her to her advantage. How are Nabi's actions any less toxic than Jae-Eon's?

Nabi’s Relationship Timeline - from her ex, to Jae-Eon, to the junior, to Do-Hyeok

Nabi is the classic example of the Girl who Can Never Be Single. Straight after she broke up with her Ex at the beginning of the movie, she goes to a bar to distract herself from her heartbreak where she meets Jae-Eon. Immediately charmed by Jae-Eon’s charisma she falls head over heels with him, only to be disappointed by his lack of sincerity towards her. Soon, a junior appears who very clearly admires Nabi’s beauty and talent. Struggling with her relationship with Jae-Eon, Nabi becomes swayed by the junior’s attention towards her and agrees to go on dates with him. To her disappointment, the junior ends up rejecting Nabi to be with her high school love instead. Obviously disappointed by her failed date, Jae-Eon notices and approaches Nabi again. This is the beginning of Nabi’s Friends with Benefits Relationship with Jae-Eon. Coincidentally enough, once she starts self-doubting her friends with benefits relationship with Jae-Eon, she meets her childhood friend Yang Do-Hyeok on the bus. 

Throughout the whole story, there is always a man beside Nabi’s side and Nabi nourishes through that attention. Despite being fully aware of both Ja-Eon and Do-Hyeok’s feelings towards her she never fully rejects their attention either, making it clear that she enjoys having these men by her side, even though she may not be very clear about her feelings towards them. When Nabi confronts Jae-Eon about his lack of sincerity towards her in Ep5, Jae-Eon asks“Weren’t you okay with everything until now?”. The thing with Nabi is that although she was ashamed of her insincere relationship with Jae-Eon, she never rejected it - so, she technically cannot blame Jae-Eon for being uncommitted towards her because Nabi did bring this relationship upon herself. That being said, of course, Jae-Eon does have fault for this as well. If he wanted their relationship to remain solely as Friends With Benefits, he should not have pampered Nabi by buying her a birthday present, as this gave her the false hope that there may be something more to their relationship. 

Does Nabi use relationships to cover her low sense of self-esteem?

It appears almost like Nabi has an extremely low sense of self-esteem, where she depends on men to validate her sense of self-worth. This is why she is never able to remain single and uses relationships to distract herself from things she wants to avoid. This may have been due to her difficult childhood as it is evident that she does not have a close relationship with her mum - and may not have had her emotional needs met as a childhood. Her low sense of self-esteem could be also due to her struggles and stress related to art and school as scenes of criticisms of her art from teachers are displayed multiple times. 

This may have ultimately been what led her to agree to a friend with benefits relationship with Jae-Eon. Although Nabi was able to accept a Friends With Benefits Relationship in the beginning, Jae-Eon’s insincerity soon wore her out because her emotional needs for trust and safety were not met. It is important to notice that when Nabi left Jae-Eon she already had Do-Hyeok by her side - a man whom she was able to confidently lean on. This is shown during her birthday. When Jae-Eon left her apartment early due to a suspicious phone call, Nabi, obviously feeling dejected, headed to Do-Hyeok’s restaurant and confided to him for emotional support instead. Having if Nabi did not meet Do-Hyeok, I am almost certain that she would not have had the confidence to end the Friends with Benefits Relationship with Jae-Eon. Do-Hyeok, being the contrast to Jae-Eon was what helped Nabi realise the truly toxic nature of her and Jae-Eon’s relationship. 

Did Nabi like Do-Hyeok as a person or did she only like his attention?

However, although Do-Hyeok definitely treats Nabi very well, you can tell that there is clearly a lack of chemistry between these two characters. In fact, Nabi never genuinely liked Do-Hyeok and it becomes clear that what she liked was not him, but instead his attention towards her. Do-Hyeok was Nabi’s shield and Nabi was using him throughout the whole time for emotional support because she was unable to hold herself up by herself. 

The scene where Nabi and Jae-Eon make out in a small room during the retreat is followed by Do-Hyeok’s intimate confession scene. It is evident that Do-Hyeok put a lot of effort into preparing this confession - he has set up fairy lights, balloons and flowers for Nabi. However, unlike the previous scene where Nabi could not resist but give Jae-Eon a steamy kiss when in the same room together, Nabi does not seem appreciative of Jae-Eon’s set up at all and responds with "What is all of this?", in a rather uncomfortable voice. It is rather clear in this scene that no matter how hard Do Hyeok tries, he will never be able to win Nabi’s heart. 

​​Should Nabi have distanced herself from Do-Hyeok after he confessed to her?

Yet, the thing that made everyone the most confused was how comfortable Nabi was with Do-Hyeok after Nabi tearfully rejected Do-Hyeok’s confession. The next scene of them together is shown sitting on a picnic bench eating strawberries. They even share earphones and watch a video on an iPad together. It is evident that Do-Hyeok, who is still madly in love with Nabi, is uncomfortable with the physical closeness between him and Nabi. He is rather awkward throughout the scene and stutters when giving her the earphones. Yet, Nabi seems completely unswayed by their closeness as if she completely forgot that Do-Hyeok just confessed to her recently. This makes me question the amount of respect Nabi has for Do-Hyeok. If she really respected him as a friend, knowing that he has strong unreciprocated feelings for her wouldn’t she try to distance herself from him a bit just so that he can have time to heal and move on? Do-Hyeok’s feelings towards Nabi is so evident throughout this scene, as he continually steals glances at Nabi. Yet, Nabi continues to praise and flatter him asking him questions like “How do you chop so well?” as if she is trying to lead him on, knowing so well his feelings towards her.

Jae-One witnesses Do-Hyeok and Nabi laughing cheerfully together and walks away looking a bit disheartened. Did Nabi purposely act super giggly with Do-Hyeok in order to get back at Jae-Eon? After all, Nabi did meet up with Do-Hyeok after her art class, which Jae-Eon was also in. Obviously, Nabi knew that Jae-Eon would have to walk past them in order to leave the school. Was Nabi’s relationship with Do-Hyeok just an act for Nabi to get back at Jae-Eon? How could she look so unaffected by Do-Hyeok’s presence right after he poured his heart out to confess to her? 

Was Nabi preying off Do-Hyeok's attention for her?

Do-Hyeok was Nabi’s idea of a perfect man and Nabi even says “If I date him he’d get disappointed. I’m not the type of person he thinks I am.” Nabi is unable to show her true self to Do-Hyeok as she worries that once she does so, Do-Hyeok will leave her. Again, Nabi is using Do-Hyeok to his disposable, trying her best to put her ‘best image’ around Do-Hyeok so that he will stay by her side because after all, Nabi is unable to be ok by herself. By settling for the idea of Do-Hyeok, Nabi is once again preying on the idea that she needs to have someone. The reality is, just because her relationship with Jae-Eon was not working, this does not mean that she needs to rush into a relationship with another man. In my thoughts, if Nabi really cared about Do-Hyeok as a good friend, she should have left Do-Hyeok after he confessed to her, knowing so well that the feelings were unreciprocated. This would provide Do-Hyeok with the space to move on, minimising the amount of hurt that he would experience later on. Instead, Nabi preyed on Do-Hyeok’s attention for her and used it to her advantage whilst she was experiencing a turbulent period with Jae-Eon. If Nabi is someone who uses the attention of men to cover up her lack of security within herself, how does this make her any less toxic than Jae-Eon?

Will Jae-Eon and Nabi’s toxic spiral continue?

In the end of the drama, Jea-Eon asks Nabi if “she won’t regret?” going out with him. Nabi says “Yes. But she will still go out for it.” Jea-Eon asking Nabi if she will regret going out with him, almost seems as if he acknowledges that he hasn’t really changed, and will likely continue to hurt her. Just like her past relationships with her ex-boyfriend, Nabi continually puts herself into toxic relationships due to her low self-esteem, which makes it easier for her to accept toxic behaviour. 

Is this a happing ending for Do-Hyeok?

My honest thoughts on this drama is that this is an extremely happy ending for Do-Hyeok. Do-Hyeok deserves so much better than Nabi. Nabi was never sincere towards Do-Hyeok. She was well aware of Do-Hyeok’s feelings towards her and used his feelings towards her to escalate her self-image despite being clear of her lingering feelings towards Jae-Eon. I am proud of Do-Hyeok - he realised that Nabi was insincere towards her and it is clear towards the end of the drama that he has moved on from Nabi and began talking to other girls. 

Should Nabi should work on herself before settling for a relationship?

 

I believe that Nabi should work on healing her past scars before moving onto another relationship. The thrill and comfort of being in a relationship may seem exciting and extremely validating. However, you cannot hide from yourself forever. In order to truly blossom in a relationship, you need to first learn how to be happy alone. If you depend on others to be happy, you won’t ever be truly happy at all. 

**DISCLAIMER** These are my honest opinions on the whole story. However, I am definitely by no means a psychologist or a relationship expert. I just have a lot of thoughts on this drama and wanted to share my ideas openly. If you enjoyed reading this review - please leave a comment below and share whether you agree or disagree with my views :D I am extremely open to discussion about this drama - so feel free to refute anything I say and share your own views and experiences as well! But most importantly, please be nice and respectful when doing so :)